Mental Slowness or Mental Overload?

This is my first post in 2010 and i’ve had this post written in my head  2 weeks ago but just getting it written down now.  Since coming back from holiday I have noticed a problem with my reading where I constantly have to re read lines because I did not take it in the first time.  This is really pissing me off because it’s taking me ages just to read stuff and is actually putting me off from reading. My typing has also got a lot worse where I just missed complete words out my sentences or just don’t finish a word before hitting space. That is the reason for my post title because I don’t if it’s just my mind full of other shit that I can’t concentrate or i’m suffering from some sort of slowness.  I sort of noticed it before my holiday but as I had been reading a lot on holiday it became more noticeable.

I had a good relaxing holiday where I basically did fuck all as usual so had some good time to do some thinking and read the books i’ve been wanting to read. It turned out I ended up taking my laptop because there was going to be a 10 hour delay so thought it would help pass the time away in the airport eventhough I did not end up using it.  It was really good just to turn off and not have to worry about what was going on at home.

There was plenty of sun to be had which really makes a different to your mood to get away from the shitty constant greyness in England. I’m not much of a sun worshipper so i’m usually content in just staying in bed to miss the heat and then have a lounge later on. Eventhough it was an all inclusive resort I managed to lose about 5lbs as I just never feel like eating on holiday plus I had the shits for 5 days which didn’t help like.  I tried to get in the gym but they didn’t even have any sort of squat rack and not even a barbell with more than 20kg so it was a complete waste of time. So now i’ve lost about 6 weeks of training and it’s really hard to get back into it when your gym is like 0 degrees.

For those that know me will know that I really have lost all interest in playing poker and the last game I played was the NPF Championships at end of October and even then I only lasted 5 hands and had not played for 2 months before that so i’m pretty serious about it. (About an hour before writing this I donked out the WBCOOP because it reminded me how much I just didn’t want to play). So it’s unlikely you will see me write about myself playing poker and will probably turn this blog into more personal stuff and posts will probably be random as the poker articles I planned to write will be written for the coming soon new NPF site.

That brings me to another point and expanding from my mental overload/slowness is that I have developed an uncanny ability to scan posts for where it talks about playing a particular hand, I can just see where it begins and ends and just skip it completely because I just can’t bear to read it. It usually contains something like ‘I picked up KK and there’s a raise so I re raise to 1500 and he flats…He turns over fucking AJ for the straight…what did he think I had like on the king high flop and the big re raise pre flop?’.

I really think 2010 is going to be the year for me as i’ve got a much clear goal of what I want to do and looking at the goals in my 2009 wrap up post I can really see myself having done all of those things and more by the time i’m 23. But it in order for that to happen I can’t just sit around and wait for things to happen which is what i’ve done all my life. I’m getting there slowly but surely.